omg i am fourty years old today. I remember thinking, when i was 19 or so, that this day was going to be like this: busy but goofed, with a slight tequila hangover. I guess I am as tossed around and ramblingly alive as i wanted to be, so thats good. I wish i could have a better, clearer The Secret-type vision of life like some people. Like I imagine Queen Latifah and Suze Orman and other 100% successergetic people who came from simple backgrounds had like this clear orblike idea of their future. Me? I have always imagined just being expressive, artsy and having fun friends. The only really clear vision i had was like in 7th grade or so, that in my adulthood i would be laying on a mattress in some kind of loft space, with a man and a woman asleep next to me. I was a floozehead even at the age of 13.

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