Sono qui al Roma

Here is me in Rome. I just got here. i am staying at my lovely friend Pino's place. He is one of those rare gorgeous men who is actually also very nice and intelligent. He is working on an exhibition of theatrical and film costumes of Farani, a famous costume designer who made work for Felinni among others. Pino hopes the exhibition will be shown outside of Rome in April, and then hopefully tour. His boyfriend is a spanish actor from Madrid who is also visiting. I am sure he is probably gorgeous too but havent met him yet because they are napping. So for now I am officially a third wheel just like in high school.

No matter. I am feeling entirely post-sexual right now. I just want to see old ancient things and learn abotu this city and try to feel the cord of connection through the ages.

I came from Milan, where i was the fifth wheel anyway. I was with my amazing, smart, cute great friend Erik, and his boyfriend Sandro, who has just written a book about his time working for the prominent italian (and recently deceased journalist Oriana Fallaci. There is so much controversy surrounding this book. Sandro, though, is a truly wonderful, generous guy. He took me and Erik and my two new favorite people, Dan and Diana (friends of E & S's that they met in Nicaragua) around Milan.

I liked Milan! Everyone kept saying how much they don't like the city. Except for the fashion people i talked to who said "I actually LIKE Milan!" like they were fashionably counterintuitive. But Sandro's friends are so amazing and hilarious. Spent four days in Milan with a bunch of nutty italians, drinking wine and saying goodbye to them every night about 5 times in a row, like ever night I was going away on a cruise ship.

Its always interesting when you travel to just be dirty and tired and constipated and deal with it. On the first day we arrived at 8 in the morning and decided we should go to Venice, so we dropped our bags and walked out the door in under 20 minutes and took a 3 hour train to venice. I was Ambiened and jetlagged and had barely slept but walked aroudn that incredibly misty and haunted city with my eyes wide open.

We returned to Milan and we went to dinner at this incredible restaurant near their apartment. it has bologhnese in the title, that's all i know. Then we drank shots of rum. Then i passed out and apparently according to my friends snored like crazy. Sandros friends are so fun and genuine -- i have to write down all the names i remember before i forget: Elena, Kelly, Simone, Yung, Paolo, Manuela (Paolo's wife who is a lovelys inger. I recorded her singing on my new digital voice recorder...and once i figure out how to link a file to this site i will put it up), Francesca, Franka (Sandro's sister)...

Now I am staying near Re di Roma, at my friend Pino's place. His big project right now is to produce/driect an exhibit of costumes from Fellini's films. He has a bf who is a spanish actor who I am sure is also gorgeous. I havent met him yet though. They are asleep. I hope they wake up because I am starving. We are supposedly meeting up with John Cameron Mitchell who is here promoting Shortbus. Weird coinkydink.

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OK i am back...Alfonso is the bf. He is gorgeous and totally nice. He seems like a talented actor too. You know, how you can tell someone has the ability to send out their aura and convey something soulful without seeing their work. They make a perfect couple. This trip is getting better porque ahora puedo practicar mi espanol. JCM is so funny...he has been all over promoting Shortbus...he seems a little exhausted but very proud of his achievement...

I know i sound like i am on travel-crack right now. I am happy to be here. All I want to do is see ancient things and new faces and cities that are functioning outside of the one that seems to be burying my mind in obsessive career anxiety and romantic disappointment and try to learn so that i dont feel my brain turning into an american candy bar wrapper. I am reading this book called Satyr Square by Leonard Barkan. My gorgeously magical agent Tina actually sent me before I left . Its so great because he walks around and quotes passages of Merchant of Venice, Petrarch, Portrait of a Lady and Hawthorne. This one really lovely passage from Portrait where I think Isabel is walkign around Rome all hot and bothered and freaked out... "the sense of the terrible past was heavy to her, but that of something altogether contemporary would suddenly give its wings that it could wave in the blue...she went about in a repressed ecstasy of contemplation."

So here I am once again wanting the world to ring with meaning...

Tell me what I should do here. I am open to suggestions. I need to Get My Groove Back Under The Tuscan Sun.

xx