The Oprah Cares About Nutrition Dream August 10th, 2006

i had a dream a few nights ago that i was with Oprah after one of her shows, in some sort of low-ceilinged high school theater lobby. It was the Oprah of the mid-nineties -- a little chunkier, with huge huge curly hair cute into a kind of gigantic bob, wearing a pink newscaster-Chanel suit. She had just done a show celebrating the anniversary of Barbie, and there were all these robot Barbie contraptions on the floor around us, rolling and marching around, battery powered.

Oprah was talking to me, and i was a fan, but somehow strangely confident and relaxed, for once. She was saying how recent studies showed that Orange Juice wasnt as healthy as it is made out to be...that it contains only 3 percent of the vitamin C one needs every day. I told her, "How interesting...! you know, Oprah, i am so impressed with your dedication to nutrition. You should do a compilation show, or a documentary, compiling all your episodes about nutrition over the years." She seemed inspired by this dream, but before she could say anything, a giant mutant Barbie rolled up to our feet. It was just the huge plastic teeth and jaw of barbie, chomping and slobbering as if it was rabid, with mucusy internal fangs like an alien shark. it rolled on two wheels installed in each mandible. We both stood there and stared at it.