Passionless but painless July 29th 2006

I am in Provincetown again. I decided I should allow myself a week here, and it is so well timed because NYC is apparently hot and humid and i have no air conditioner and would have died. Am i masochistic for not having one? I feel i am doing to prevent global warming, Mr Gore! Global Warming, in espanol is: Calentemiento de global. Which leads me to tell you that there is a new feature on my site: Albo En Espanol! its in the bottom left hand corner. its there that i will publish essays and notes in spanish, since i am trying to master the language and expand my horizons.

I was telling my most special friend Virginia how truly depleted of passion i feel lately. Hard to explain, but not a lot of stormy intensity going on underneath my ribs. I feel so not caught up in anything or anyone. I lvoe looking at the sea lavender, and the brindled clouds at the beach today, trekking over the sky, at a slow pace, but none of it contains any Blakeian burning. Where did it go?

But i did fall on my rental bike. I was scratching my head with my right hand and saw a pothole and squeezed the left brake, which works the front tire, and the bike flipped over and i skinned my hands and gashed the fuck out of my forehead. Its sort of a tough cut held together with butterfly clips. Not that big of a deal. My friend Carl (my talented painter pal and illustrator of the Underminer) gave me a painkiller so i am passionless but painless. But let me tell you, i was wearing a white tee shirt and took it off to stop the bleeding, and now i have the coolest print of bloodstains all over this tee shirt. It is very cool looking. I want to wear it out. But i am a little afriad it may look like i am trivializing war, since every day i see Iraqis and now Lebanese being splattered in blood as they run from their homes.

O world, grow up.