FRETWORK NEWS, October 25th

A - The poll of 1,013 adult Americans interviewed by telephone found two-thirds -- 64 percent -- of those polled oppose the war in Iraq. 51 percent of those polled believe Democrats would do a better job on Iraq, while 40 percent said Republicans would. Interestingly, 80% of Iraqis don’t think about the war at all, because they are dead.

C - In an interview with Reuters Television in his home village of Lipunga on Saturday, Yohane Banda, The father of the Malawian boy Madonna plans to adopt, said he never intended his son to be adopted by the pop diva, but only for her to raise the child on his behalf – a crucial difference he misunderstood. Madonna says that she also misunderstood and thought he said it would be OK for her to take the boy back to England, crush up the child and use him as a face cream.

A - Surprising new victims remains were discovered at the construction site of Ground Zero in New York last Sunday when workers uncovered an unused manhole. A full excavation of the area is being made. The Medical Examiner's office said that so far, 18 pieces of human remains were found, including bones, personal affects, and an arm of an ambitious victim hard at work on a screenplay about 9-11.

C - British tabloid The Sunday Mirror has reported that rocker Pete Doherty and his sometimes girlfriend supermodel Kate Moss are expecting a child. The couple announce that though they are keeping the child, the conception was an accident. Pete was just trying to inject coke and mistook his penis for a syringe and Kate’s pussy for his arm.

A – In other pregnant celebrity news, EDDIE Murphy will spice up his life as a father again - former Spice Girl Melanie Brown, a k a Scary Spice, is four months pregnant with his baby, according to TMZ.com. They're rumored to be tying the knot next month. In an exclusive interview Murphy admitted he is hoping for a boy, because then for at least the next nine months, he would technically be fucking a chick with a dick.

C: The French woman who received the world's first partial face transplant told a Sunday newspaper she has complete feeling in the new tissue just a year after the operation to rebuild her face after her pet dog chewed it off while she lay unconscious. Isabelle Dinoire, 38, also told the newspaper Le Journal du Dimanche that she still has a little problem of mobility and difficulty pronouncing sounds that use the lips, such as the "b" or "p.” But she can finally can pronounce the word “Ow.”

A: Former Jersey Governer Jim Mcgreevey has released his tell-all memoir last week, called The confession. In the book the former governer candidly describes how he hid his homosexuality during his political rise, and was compelled to engage in anonymous sex at bookstores and highway rest stops to satisfy his homosexual urges. To sell his book, “Hotlips” Mcgreevey will be making special stops on his book tour along i-95 so that you yourself can experience his soft cocksucker mouth and hungry velvet throat thirsty for man milk.