faith

hi there

so much has happened. If you do a few googles and you will find out what. IRight now i am trying to think of all of this as a door opening. Maybe the fairies of life are sending me down some more creative avenue. But i have to say its hard and its not helping that it has been timed with the end of daylight savings, so everything is all crepuscular and murky in the city.

I suppose you could say i am having a crisis of faith. I have put all my belief in my creativity as a religion i guess. I have sacrificed many many things to keep it sustained. I have no health insurance, no permanent home, no savings, no reliable vision of a comfortable future, only my weird dogged desire to keep writing and performing and my curiosity and addiction to communicate and connect with people...so it has been sort of a blow to be slapped by the entire medium you work within.

When i am swimming i feel angrily strong. i wish i could swim all the time.